When you have a conversation with a business owner, it is vital to consider the other person in the room – the business.
The business is a very demanding person, both of me as an adviser, and as a life partner of the “real” people in the room. I always think of her as “she” so excuse the gender specific commentary, maybe that is because of my life experiences.
She has no filters, and does not consider the needs of others, yet at times she is frustrated at her lack of ability to express herself.
She is a jealous partner and will not accept dalliance with others. She demands loyalty and only grudgingly allows her partners to have any interaction with anyone else.
She can cause great distress when her needs are not met, and yet is warm and generous when she is feeling comfortable and successful.
She demands constant attention, to the point of putting the other relationships of her partners at risk.
She doesn’t always return the love. She is happy to accept the adoration of her partners but does not necessarily reward their attentiveness.
Non business owner partners have trouble understanding why the business owner wants to spend so much time with her, sometimes way beyond that which could reasonably be expected.
She dominates thoughts and plans even when she is not around, and her partner can at times appear distracted by thinking about her at odd times.
She has a way of dominating conversation that is without peer. Her partner’s friends, family and colleagues all ask after her when she is not present.
She gets really upset when she is ignored, particularly if she has not been consulted when formulating plans for the future.
Extricating the business owner from the relationship, even when it has run its course, is a difficult and challenging exercise. She is prone to biting back when least expected, and doesn’t give up easily.
Whilst her partner is devoted to her and overwhelmed by her beauty, she is not necessarily valued as highly by others.
As an adviser, I fail to consider her needs at my peril. Whilst I have a good relationship with the “real” people in the room, they would forsake me in a heartbeat if the needs of the “other” person demanded it.
I know her peculiarities and foibles well, because I love her sister, my own “other” person. It is my aim to please her as much as I can, for her sake and for the sake of those near to her, she, and they deserve no less.
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